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Feeling Overwhelmed with clutter?
When I think about how cluttered my home in New York used to be, I legit get sick to my stomach. It had nothing to do with the fact that I lived in a smaller home than I live in now and everything to do with the fact that I was oblivious to how it impacted me.
My cluttered home impacted my marriage, friendships and my kids. If you visited my house, it was in decent shape. I was a master at decluttering and cleaning the main living areas of my home in record time before anyone came to my house. It’s only those that went into the basement or the closet or the bedroom that knew the truth. My goal was to keep you from knowing the truth. To keep you out of the places that were complete chaos.
But if you came to my house unannounced…all bets were off!
deCluttering isn’t as simple as it seems
Chances are clutter is overwhelming you because of years and years of accumulation and bad habits that need to be broken. You may have inherited someone else’s belongings, changed jobs and the clothing required for that job too many times or grew up with lots of stuff and continued the family trend.
Decluttering your home may not be as simple as getting some trash bags and chucking things inside to bring to the donation centers. There are a lot of behind the scenes emotions that come up when purging your things. It’s important to acknowledge these emotions and not be embarrassed by them. They are very common. You are not alone!
9 Things That Might Be Holding You Back From Decluttering & What To Do About It.
1. You might be holding onto the past.
Do you still have work clothes and shoes from when you were working in the office or supplies from an old hobby you had time to pursue before kids? Pick up each item and really think through if this is something that you truly need at this moment.
If you do decide to go back to work in the future, for example, are you going to be wearing the exact same high heels? If you decide to go back to your hobby again in the future, do you need to keep everything you used to use?
If you really want to keep some items, limit yourself to what can fit into a small box and get rid of the rest.
2. You might be saving for the future.
“Just In Case”
How many “save for the future” items do you own? I saved a ton of formal dresses just in case I decided to wear them to a wedding but in reality when I attended a wedding, I found myself shopping for something new anyway. The dresses that I owned didn’t fit right. With 4 kids, any excuse to get out of the house for some alone time, I’ll take?! ;-)
Is your family complete or do you want another child? If you aren’t sure, do yourself a favor and be very strategic about what you save for any additional babies that might join your family. There is no sense in saving every baby you own outfit unless your kids are the same gender and very close in age. Save a few special pieces and donate the rest.
I spent way too much time going through bins and bins of hand me down clothes each time one of our girls was born. I saved lots of clothes with stains on them too that my other children didn’t even end up wearing.
With this in mind, be careful about accepting hand me down clothes from other generous mamas. Just because something is free, it doesn’t mean you truly need it. Sorting through clothing you really aren’t in need of takes up a lot of your time! I say all of this from experience.
I appreciate all the baby clothing I was given but if I had to do it all over again, I would absolutely limit the quantity of kid clothes I owned. Going through bins of clothes ended up consuming so much of my time and as a full time working mom, my time was desperately limited.
4. You might be lazy and unmotivated.
Getting the motivation to tackle a huge project can be rough. It’s much easier to spend your kiddos nap time or bedtime curled up on the couch binge watching your favorite Netflix show. Is what you are doing during your free time bringing you closer to your living a life with less goal?
To combat laziness, start decluttering one small draw at a time. When that's done, move to another one. You’ll start to see each small step add up over time. The motivation to continue decluttering often comes naturally as you make progress. Think of it as a snowball effect!
5. You might not be used to delegating household tasks.
It is not your responsibility to take on all of the household tasks. Your family can and should help you! If your children are older, this especially rings true. It is good for children to have age appropriate responsibilities around the home. To make their chores more manageable teaching your kids to pursue minimalism will help tremendously!
It doesn’t matter what your home life was like growing up! That’s not a valid excuse. Because a lot of moms saw their own moms do it all, they’ve subconsciously become a SUPERMOM! I’ve fallen into this trap too. It’s not healthy for your family for you to be doing everything. It’s no wonder you are overwhelmed.
Delegation is a must. Your spouse and kids should be helping you. Everyone pitches in and helps out around the house is one of our family rules.
6. You might be waiting for the perfect time to declutter.
We often feel that we have to have a devoted decluttering time. This simply is not feasible when you have distractions all day! Hello motherhood! Make decluttering a lifestyle. You might be surprised at how much you can get rid of by picking items up to bring to the donation bag as you are going about your day.
7. You might not have thought through your WHY.
What do you believe you will gain from having a decluttered, minimalist home? Is it more time to focus on your family and less time cleaning up toys! Knowing your WHY is essential to moving forward and continuing to pursue your goals. Living a life with less stuff will free you up to pursue a lot of things you may not have had time to do before.
If you haven’t done this already, take a journal or open the notes app on your phone and write out your WHY. Why do you want a clutter free home? Will it improve your marriage? Will it create more peace in your home? Will you be able to finally start that side job you’ve always dreamed about? Write it all out and remember your WHY when you are discouraged. It will help motivate you to keep going forward.
8. You might be too focused on organizing instead of purging the clutter.
Shopping for organizational systems, as fun as it may be, will not do anything for you but hide your clutter. It will not fix your problem of having too much stuff! Your first step should be to eliminate your excess stuff and make the adorable bins, cubbies and room decorations your reward for a job well done! You will find that the more you let go of things, the less storage space, you’ll actually need. I have so many empty bins in my garage now that I have to donate. It’s amazing how much stuff I thought I needed when I first started my minimalism journey.
9. You might have a guilty conscience.
You might have a guilty conscience Over gifts given to you by loved ones
It’s common to experience guilt over getting rid of things that were given to you as gifts by your loved ones. This is because we feel that by getting rid of the gift, we are somehow severing the love and trust between us and the gift giver. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you give someone a gift, they can do with it as they please…
They can use it for a while and eventually give it away.
They can decide not to keep it all all and gift it to someone else. AKA the Re-gift ;-)
You know the saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Don’t call the gifts you receive from others “trash” but you get the idea!
What about the gift giver who specifically asks where the gift that they gave you went!? Be honest with them. Communication is super important in all of your relationships.
You might have a guilty conscience Over things you may have purchased in the past.
Our things aren’t expected to serve us forever. Our lives change and so do our needs/wants. It’s okay to let go of items that we’ve purchased in the past if we are no longer using them. Why should we keep unused items in our home when they can be used and loved by someone else?
You might have a guilty conscience over getting rid of items that are still “practically new.”
Again, why should we keep an unused item in our home to collect dust when they can be used and loved by someone else?
You might have a guilty conscience over Sentimental items or items attached to a specific person or memory.
This is one that I know is a struggle for many. Try taking a picture of the item before giving it away. If this doesn’t do the trick and you really can’t part with the sentimental item, give yourself a designated space to store it. I have a small memory box that I keep special letters my husband and kids have written to me.
10. You might be listening to what everyone else says you need without truly reflecting on what YOUR family values.
Our society as a whole loves lots of STUFF! We are inundated with advertisements about what we “need” for our family. Knowing what your family values is important to help you decide what should stay or go in your home.
For example, if one family happens to be musical, they might have quite a few musical instruments. If someone is crafty, they might have a lot of art supplies. One family might be book lovers and keep their bookshelves stocked with books they love, while another prefers to be more minimal with their book collection and utilize their local library’s resources instead.
Decluttering your belongings based on what your family values is the best way to work towards a more minimalistic home that works for your lifestyle.
Another thing to consider is your finances. You might value family vacations but your bank account says you need to stay put for a while. Be careful not to fall into the comparison trap and make hasty decisions to the detriment of your family. If your finances are not in the best shape, you might want to consider selling some of your clutter to bring you some financial peace. Dave Ramsey has a lot of great resources on this including, Financial Peace Jr. We recently purchased this for our kids to help us set up a better chore system and teach them how to handle their money wisely.
Your Mindset Matters
Bottom line. Your mindset is extremely important when decluttering. If you are always focusing on the negative in life, you’ll have a hard time moving forward. A positive mindset is a key component to getting stuff done! The fact that you even have extra stuff to sort through is a blessing! There are many in this world that would love to have your problem. Try to look at your situation a little differently.
Get rid of the “grass is greener mentality.” There should be no excuses here. Why aren’t you tackling that overwhelming closet, the extra bedroom packed with bins or the garage you can’t even fit a car in…Everyone has to start somewhere.
Stop looking at people that are on chapter 15 of their story when you are still in chapter 1. Comparison is crippling you from getting the home you dream about. Guess what? Your current home might actually the home of your dreams if you decluttered and changed your mindset. You won’t regret pursuing minimalism and living a life with less!