Homeschooling can be very stressful! If you’ve ever felt like sending your homeschooled child to school, or had a child ask if they could go to school, this episode is for you…
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This Episode Discusses:
What to think about if your homeschooled child asks to go to school.
Feelings your child might be having about their homeschooling experience if they are asking to go to school.
How to be an advocate for your child’s education
Why you should avoid discussing sending your children to school as a punishment.
Jackie’s homeschooling update.
DON’T HAVE TIME TO LISTEN? HERE’S THE EPISODE ALL TYPED OUT:
Lets face it…Being a homeschooling mom who also works from home can be pure chaos! As you’ve probably already noticed, despite the occasional laugh track, life isn’t a sitcom and everyday struggles are rarely resolved in 30 minutes with commercial breaks to keep your sanity in check so the right strategies and mindset are vital for becoming more productive and less overwhelmed with all the things life throws at us. Enter the Simply Freeing Podcast…Episodes for the highly passionate, busy work at home, homeschooling mama ready to break away from cultural norms and raise life long learners. So let kick stress to the curb, throw chaos out the door and order in some peace and simplicity…with a cup of coffee, or 3.
Hello everyone! This is a topic that I've been wanting to talk about for a while but I wanted to wait until the time was right just to make sure that the educational choice we’ve made for my highschooler was the right one. I’ve always said that I'm taking homeschooling year by year.
I see this happen a lot with homeschooling moms… many aren’t enjoying homeschooling but they think that if they ever were to make the choice to stop homeschooling and send their children to school, that it’s almost as if they’ve failed. So I want you to be sure that you don’t have such a tight grasp on homeschooling that if ends up not working, that you can’t let go. We want what’s best for our kids, all guilt aside. I’m going to be sharing what we’ve decided for my highschooler in a little bit but before that lets talk about a few things…
One of your goals for your children is that they are going to thrive wherever they end up being educated. Sometimes that means part time with you and part time in a homeschool coop. Other times it might mean a private school and maybe even a public school.
We all have bad days and so do our kids, so depending on your homeschooling style, your children may decide one day that they aren’t into homeschooling. Now you know your child best. Some kids are really good at making mom feel bad for them so when a child says, I want to go to school, I want you to consider a few things.
First off, you don’t ever want to dismiss your kids when they ask a question that they're genuine about.
I want you to step back and recognize that your kids are human too! They have days of feeling “off” just as much as we do no matter what their age is. Sometimes they just aren’t feeling up to the homeschooling routine that you’ve set up or lack of routine if you don’t have one. So if this request to go to school comes up, consider that they might just be having an “off” day.
When these off days happens, I don’t believe it’s a terrible thing to change things up…watch a documentary, do something out of the norm, prep their favorite snack together, get them outside, etc. But if you struggle with homeschooling consistency, which I did for so long, make sure that you aren’t using your children’s “off” days as an out for you to give up because that’s just easier.
That being said, your kids will get frustrated with homeschooling from time to time and if they request to go to school, consider their age and who is causing them to feel that way. If they see what school looks like on a tv show, have a sibling or a friend in school, they will often feel that they are “missing out.” If this is the case, be open with them and ask why they feel that way. Younger kids always want to copy what other kids are doing! (My daughter used to say that she wanted to go to school when she passed other schools in the neighborhood having recess.) She didn’t realize that recess is 20 minutes out of the day! Send them outside to play for recess and set a 20 minute timer! That argument will be gone real quick. Use it as an opportunity to teach them what 20 minutes feels like!
It’s also possible that they may be feeling like they aren't being heard at home. As homeschoolers, we spend a lot of time with our kids so once school is done, we feel that we’re “done” and depending on your child’s personality, school time doesn’t necessarily mean that they are connecting with you. Each child has their own love language so they will each feel loved in different ways.
Depending on their personality they might be a social butterfly so they could possibly be wanting some more socialization - maybe you’d want to schedule in some social outlets…it doesn’t always have to be school related social gathering either!
I talk all about connection piece of homeschooling, socialization, love languages and so much more in my course, Lifeschooling Made Simple. I share a lot of my personal journey there in hopes that it will help you make more clear choices with your homeschool.
I also want you to put yourself in your child’s shoes. Sometimes in the midst of all the stress of homeschooling, there might be a “my way or the highway” kind of attitude coming from us as their homeschool teacher so it’s possible that they feel that homeschooling is not enjoyable b/c of that. Think about it…when a child goes to school, they LOVE the teachers that are fun, welcoming and warm and usually don’t enjoy the strict burnt out teachers that clearly should have retired years ago! I’m totally not trying to be mean but sometimes the truth is that we’re more of a stressed out parent than a loving one.
Consider that maybe your child is struggling with a particular subject and they use the “I want to go to school argument” because this subject doesn’t come easy to them. Kids come up with a lot of excuses that we sometimes dismiss when they might be trying to tell us something. Try and be more aware of what’s exactly happening in their environment when they bring up going to school.
If you’ve ever said in frustration, “I'm sending you to school if you don’t do XYZ!” or “If you keep doing <insert annoying kid activity> you’re going to school!” There's nothing to be ashamed about! I've said that in the past too. Don’t be so hard on yourself. But… I want to challenge you not to say those types of things going forward…because you never know what life is going to look like in the future. You don’t ever want school to look like it is a punishment. Instead, switch your mindset…your focus should be on viewing homeschooling as a privilege and a blessing rather than dreaming about all the freedom you’ll have if you weren’t their teacher.
Sometimes based on a child’s personality, they really thrive in a structured learning environment and sending them to school is the best choice for your family but sometimes it comes down to finances…Can you afford a private school? Are the public schools in your area truly going to give your children what they need?
The beginning of this school year was a pretty emotional one for me. We sent my oldest to a public charter school for highschool. Aside from the part time private schools she’s been in throughout her schooling years, this was her first experience with public school and ours too but it’s been such a great decision for us so far and here’s why…
My oldest is extremely social and thrives in a structured environment. She’s asked to go to school for years. In the past 5 years or so, we’ve been homeschooling our girls heavily based on their interests.
In the last 5 years my oldest has become very interested in musical theatre. She’s been a part of our local theatre classes, taken voice lessons, acting coaching and auditioned for plays and musicals in the area. At first I thought this was a hobby but as time passes I see a passion in her for that field that doesn’t seem to be going away. I happened to stumble across an audition based arts charter school not too far away and brought it up to her. She lit up at the thought of not being homeschooled. So here we are. A little over a month in and it’s been a great choice for us.
We talk about this decision pretty much weekly and she said that shes happy because of the type of school that it is…If it was just a local high school, she would rather be homeschooled.
For us it just felt like a perfect fit. I am definitely sad after homeschooling her all these years but having one child in the school system has given us a lot more structure around meal time and bed times - that we’ve all been craving, whether I like to admit it or not.
I’m not allowing myself to give into any fears I have about sending her to school. We’ll keep communicating and reassessing to see if this continues to be a good choice for us. The biggest thing I’m not thrilled about is that our vacations are going to have to adhere mostly to the school calendar within reason. But as a parent, I have every right to take my child out of school for a week even if the school system doesn’t like that. I’m in charge and so are you!
Public School systems don’t like children taking extended family vacations. Parents often feel bullied when they take kid’s out of school. Don’t let that happen to you!
I’ve heard many say that you take a risk homeschooling but it’s also a risk to send them to school. If you’ve gone to school or sent your kids to school and had a teacher that wasn’t so great, their education suffered. Life is risky no matter what your choices are.
You are in charge of your child’s education whether they are homeschooled or not. You are the one that ALWAYS will have their best interest in mind. And you can change your mind if you choose to send them to school. You can change your mind a full year in, 6 months in, whatever! You are in charge.
If you decide that you have to get them ready for school in a short period of time, check out mobymax.com. It’s a very user friendly site that will assess what their skills are in each subject based on the learning standards of your particular state and then you’ll only be given lessons and practice based on what skills you need to work on. We used it for math and it worked out great for us!
Before this episode finishes up, I want to share the free live zoom class I’m hosting September 28th and 29th at 8:30pm EST. It’s called STRESS-FREE Homeschooling! On Day 1 we’ll talk about MINDSET - I’ll give you some mindset shifts to help you reduce stress and give you greater clarity around homeschooling and on Day 2 we’ll talk about TIME MANGEMENT – We’ll discuss how to balance life and homeschooling and have more freedom during the day. You can register and grab your workbook for the Free Stress Free Homeschooling class at simplyfreeing.com/sfh. I can’t wait to hang out with you!
See you next time!